For Phil

I took these shots thinking about Phil.

Phil is our neighbor, and the husband of one of my dearest friends. He is a West Point man, an Army Ranger, a chef, a food scientist, a thrower of elaborate five-course dinners for anyone lucky enough to get an invitation. He is hard-edged in some ways and deeply soft in others - fierce with his opinions, full of ideas, tender with his animals, generous with his friends, devoted to Celine. He has fed us, hosted us, argued with us, laughed with us, and welcomed us to his table year after year.

He is in the hospital. He is going on palliative care today.

I don’t know how to put the shape of a whole man into words. I only know that this quiet, cold, still-water night felt like the right place to try. The sky didn’t flash or shout. It just held its ground, the way Phil has held his - with discipline, with loyalty, with an unapologetic sense of what he believes in. And underneath all of that, the softness. The friend who checks on his neighbors. The neighbor who, without much thanks, makes the grass on our shared lane look like a putting green. The host who feels most comfortable with his chef's hat on, creating meals while eager dinner companions watch on, chattering away.

Phil came into our lives through Andy’s dad, Bob - a golf buddy, a good friend, the one who introduced him to Celine. We’ve known Celine for a long time - she was our friend and our neighbor long before Phil arrived - and we had spent years of elaborate Christmases with her before he ever pulled up a chair.

But oh, when Phil pulled up that chair. He didn’t change what we had with Celine. He amplified it. He turned the volume up at every holiday and gathering. Printed menus. Five-star meals. Wine pairings and specialty cocktails of his creation. The sparkle and the ceremony and the sheer bigness of the way he hosted - that was his gift to all of us.

Phil, if some version of this reaches you - I want you to know we’ve got Celine. We will show up for her the way she has always shown up for us, long before you came into the picture and long after. She will not be alone. She was family to us before you joined, and she is family still - and because of you, our time together will always have a little more sparkle, even when the table is missing one and quieter than it used to be.

The years with you have been a gift that we will cherish forever.

The lake was so smooth and so cold last night. The green was holding steady. The sky was quiet. It felt like the kind of peace I hope finds you now.

With so much love.

For Phil.

10/22/2026 update - RIP dear friend